Going to college is a whole lot of fun . . . the trick is to make yourself continue believing that when teachers start piling on homework and you find yourself to be the Titanic and that big research paper just jabbed you in the side and you’re slowly sinking.
*very proud of that metaphor*
So, here’s some thoughts that are constantly going through my head that either help or hinder my college experience. And remember kids . . . don’t lie.
Lies College Students Tell Themselves . . .
- I’ll take a nap later.
- I’ve got five minutes, that’s plenty of time.
- I’ve got two hours, that’s not enough time.
- This assignment will be easy!! Hahahahahaha. NO.
- This teacher will cut me some slack.
- I can make it from here to there in seven minutes. (oh wait i have high heels on never mind give me a few millenia)
- I won’t regret wearing these shoes.
- This outfit matches.
- This class is going to be super easy.
- I’ll do this later.
- There’s no way that guy is taking a girl to artist series.
- I’d have more fun working at Mickey D’s.
- This is fun.
- This is hard.
- I’m sane enough to write this paper.
- This cafeteria food looks like it may have been a real food item at one point.
- Maybe if I just ignore this assignment
- It will go away
- And I’ll get an A.
- THEY DO PARTICIPATION AWARDS HERE RIGHT.
- What would happen if I just stayed here in bed
- And didn’t go to school today
- No one would probably notice right
- . . .
- AW MAN WHY DO PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME.
- If I chop all my hair off I won’t have to waste time in the morning fixing it
- Which means
- I could get more sleep.
- I’ll sleep in this weekend to make up for all this nonsense.
- I’m going to bed at 9.
- I’m going to bed at 10.
- I’m going to bed at 11.
- . . .
- I’m going to bed.
- I have the mental capacity of a guinea pig wearing a propeller hat and trying to open a door.
- There’s no way it’s going to rain.
- I will not need a jacket today.
- I’ll have time to eat.
TRUTH: YOU ARE AN INGENIOUS SUPERHERO KEEP IT UP!!